Author: pdd-dev

  • Are You a Social Driver, Passenger or Bike Rider?

    I have come to the conclusion that there are three types of people when it comes to social lives.  There are drivers,     passengers and bike riders.  I have always been a social driver.  For years, I have been the one with a spreadsheet for my social calendar charting all the Saturdays in the quarter with babysitters and our plans.  I send e-vites for everything and already have my kids birthday party planned and their b-days aren’t until August.  Being this crazy, outgoing, organized person has made me realize that not everyone is built like me.

    There are the passengers.  The people that are still really outgoing and like attending all the social events, but don’t like planning them.  They are always glad that you called to invite them.  They offer to bring food or just show up with a bottle of wine. These people even appear to be drivers during an event.  They will suggest plans for a future date, but often don’t follow through.

    Then there is the third category, the bike riders.  They are the ones who are perfectly content to stay home.  They are often uncomfortable in social situations and having to host an event would cause them lots of anxiety.  They may not understand the social ‘rules’ that the rest of us are following.

    Whatever category you fall into, it is important to understand the other people in your life and work with them or help them break out of their comfort zones.  For us drivers, we can sometimes feel unappreciated since we go through a lot of effort.  For the bike riders, they can feel left out.  The passengers and bike riders can end up losing friendships or being resented for not doing their ‘fair share’.

    Here are a few social rules that I think everyone should follow:

    1. Always RSVP to an invitation.  Even if you have to tell them that you are a last minute decision because of Jimmy’s baseball schedule or a work trip, please just let the host/hostess know where you stand.  Many are planning a menu or trying to get a head count for the venue or caterer.

    2.  If this is a dinner party or family event, call (or email) the host/hostess and ask what you can bring.  Many times they will say that you don’t need to bring anything, but it is nice to offer.

    3. If you are asked to bring something, please LISTEN to what the host/hostess tells you.  They may have 50 people coming to the event, but that doesn’t meant that you need to bring enough brownies for 50 people.  The host probably has 5 people bringing dessert and no one wants to throw food away. Along these same lines, if you volunteer to bring chardonnay to a party, don’t bring shiraz at the last minute because you forgot.  The host may be counting on a certain number of people bringing white wine and you could throw things off.

    4. Always thank the host/hostess as you leave.  If it is a large party and you can’t do that, then send them an email, leave a voicemail or write them a handwritten note thanking them and telling them what a wonderful time you had.  EVERY host or hostess wants you to have a good time at their event.

    5. If there are people that you LOVE to be around, invite them over or at least initiate plans to go out to dinner every now and again.  It doesn’t have to be an elaborate dinner party.  Most people would be happy if you invited them over for a glass of wine and take out chinese.  (Personally, I am totally happy if I don’t have to cook or clean up)

    Good luck and happy partying!

    If you liked today’s post, you’re welcome to use it in your own ezine or blog as long as you include the following blurb: Certified Professional Organizer, Tara Donohue Rudo, CPO, helps families, solopreneurs and mompreneurs focus on what is important. Get her FREE weekly tips and advice at www.NoMorePiles.com.

    Photo courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=681″>Image: m_bartosch

  • Oops…I Forgot My Underwear

    You know how it happens. As mothers, we are in charge of packing everything for a vacation. We pack for our kids. We make sure that the clothes are all cleaned before we leave. We pack the food and entertainment for the trip. We make sure that the mail gets collected, the plants get watered, etc. AND….we have to pack for ourselves. Years ago I made a packing list for a basic trip. Unfortunately, time has passed and I am married with two kids and I have never sat down and updated my list. I made a new list for the kids and their stuff, but I never updated my own list. So, as I unpacked the suitcase of my stuff and the kids stuff when we arrived at Great Wolf lodge last week, I was shocked to find out that I didn’t pack a single pair of underwear for myself (LOL, right?).

    What makes this even funnier is that I never put underwear on my list. I never put it on the list the same way I never put ‘contact lenses’ on my list….they were a no brainer! What I have learned in this adventure (had to find a mall and buy some new underwear, pronto), is that with my mommy-brain in full swing there is no such thing as a no-brainer. Here is the valuable nugget that I want to pass along to all of you: Don’t depend on your brain!

    Lists exist so that you can idiot proof the packing process. They exist to take the stress out of remembering what you need to do. Here is a great basic site that you plug in a little information and it will give you a packing list: https://upl.codeq.info/. My recommendation to you is that you take this basic list and add or subtract anything that you notice is missing as you pack. Save that list and then you will have a template for your next trip. This will help you avoid the embarrassment of forgetting your underwear!

    If you liked today’s post, you’re welcome to use it in your own ezine or blog as long as you include the following blurb: Certified Professional Organizer, Tara Donohue Rudo, CPO, helps families, solopreneurs and mompreneurs focus on what is important. Get her FREE weekly tips and advice at www.NoMorePiles.com.

    Image: Suat Eman / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

  • What To Do If You’ve Been Hacked

    I am writing a follow up to last week’s “Is Your Facebook and Email Safe from Hackers” post.  I received so many emails from people telling me that their account had already been hacked and asking what they should do.  Here are the things that I learned last week:

    1. Contact your IT department or computer specialist!  Hackers could have gained access to your computer and you definitely want to make sure that your computer is protected and any spyware or malware is removed.

    2. If you can still access your email, change your password.  You should also change any other accounts where you used that same password.  Hackers will start going through a list of sites and try your user name and password just to see if they can gain access, especially Facebook, Twitter, Ebay, PayPal, etc.

    3. If you can access your email, check the settings in the account and make sure that the hackers didn’t set up your email account to forward all incoming email to a hacker controlled email account.

    4. If you can’t access your email, contact your email service provider either by phone or through their automated forms on their website to report that your account has been hacked and that you no longer have access to the account.  Your email provider can shut the account down to ensure that the hackers can no longer send any spam.

    5. Talk to someone that has received the hacker spam from your account (or have them forward the email to you) and have them double click on the ‘from’ section of the email to see what email address was used to send the mail.  It may say your name, but when you double click the name you may find that the hackers have set up a ‘new’ email account in your name that they are using to send the spam.  If they have, you will also need to contact that email service provider and report that email address as well.

    This is a terribly frustrating situation to find yourself involved in.  Try to be patient and thorough and make sure that you shut down the hackers as quickly and completely as possible.  Then, do your best to set up your new accounts and your computer with as many safe guards as you can.  As technology continues to improve and make our lives faster and easier, there will always be some bad guys (or gals) out there figuring out a way to mess with us.  This is just an unfortunate fact of life in the technology age.  Good luck!

    If you liked today’s post, you’re welcome to use it in your own ezine or blog as long as you include the following blurb: Certified Professional Organizer, Tara Donohue Rudo, CPO, helps families, solopreneurs and mompreneurs focus on what is important. Get her FREE weekly tips and advice at www.NoMorePiles.com.

     

  • Is Your Email and Facebook Safe From Hackers?

    I worked with a client this past week who had her Gmail and Facebook accounts hacked and taken over. By the time we recovered the accounts, a process that took several days, lots of stress and quite a few phone calls, the hackers had spammed everyone in her address book and then deleted all of her contacts which included both her personal and work contacts.

    There is no way to 100% protect yourself against hackers and cyber crime. It seems that hackers are increasingly targeting Facebook accounts and free email accounts because there is no direct customer service and it takes quite a bit of time to realize something has been hacked, submit the online forms to report the hack and have them shut down the accounts. This process gives the hackers plenty of time to do what they want with your contacts while posing as you.

    Here are the tips that we learned this past week to improve your protection. You may already be doing many of these, but please double check my list and be sure.

    • Do NOT have the same password for your email and Facebook accounts.
    • Change your passwords often.
    • Make your passwords a random combination of letter and numbers or use a phrase. Include symbols, capital letters and numbers to make it harder to duplicate.
    • Make sure you have good anti-virus software on your computer and make sure it is set for regular scans and updates to that it will protect you from the latest threats.
    • Hackers can also infect your computer with ‘key logger’ programs that will allow them to track your keystrokes and get your passwords. Consider downloading a malware detection program to check for key loggers.
    • Don’t use real answers to your security questions. It is much easier for a hacker to find out your real answers.
    • Back up your contacts in a physical file (like a .csv file saved on disk or elsewhere on your computer) so that if your online account gets hacked, you won’t have to rebuild your database.
    • Make sure you empty your email trash and sent items folder often.

    These criminals are constantly changing the ways in which they target victims, so we can all just help each other stay on top of the latest and greatest ways to protect ourselves.

    If you liked today’s post, you’re welcome to use it in your own ezine or blog as long as you include the following blurb: Certified Professional Organizer, Tara Donohue Rudo, CPO, helps families, solopreneurs and mompreneurs focus on what is important. Get her FREE weekly tips and advice at www.NoMorePiles.com . Photo is courtesy of Keerati & www.freedigitalphotos.net

  • Great Article on Mompreneurs

    I am excited to announce that there is a great article about me and some fellow mompreneurs in this week’s Jewish Times. The issue will be on newsstands tomorrow, but if you want a sneak peak….https://tinyurl.com/4k8kwss

  • I Can’t Do It All By Myself!

    My husband regularly makes fun of me for always having my ‘team’ of people that I need to run my life. My ‘team’ consists of quite a few people in various categories and I feel that their contributions make me a much happier and successful businesswoman, mother and human being. I have a chiropractor, acupuncturist, house cleaning duo, several babysitters, a virtual assistant, Terri (my right hand organizer), massage therapist (a.k.a. my mother), marketing guru, my group fitness instructors at the gym and probably a few others that I can’t remember off the top of my head. As far as I am concerned, my husband can make fun of me all he wants because I LOVE my team!

    In today’s hectic society, with two working parents who also want to have a life outside of their home, I feel that having a team is a necessity. I can’t do it ALL by myself! I have learned and embraced the Law of Delegation. I am not sure where I learned this and have searched to find out whom I should credit but have had no luck. So, here it is:

    The Law of Delegation: If someone else can do the task 75% as well as you could do it yourself, delegate it.
    The way I see it, there are two ways to delegate. You can delegate up. For example, hire a marketing guru, chiropractor, acupuncturist who is an expert in something you CAN’T do for yourself to tell you or teach you how to achieve your goals in the most effective and efficient way. Or, you can delegate down. For example, hiring a babysitter, house cleaning duo or virtual assistant to do something that you COULD do for yourself, but you choose to pay them to do it so you can spend your time and efforts elsewhere.

    You can’t expect perfection or to have something done EXACTLY the way you would do it, but it will be done and that is more important than perfect. I think that learning to delegate is a difficult skill for both business people and parents alike. You know that some things won’t get done well the first time. Accept that there will be a learning curve as you teach someone else to do these tasks. But, if you are a little lucky and thoughtful as to which tasks you delegate and which people you bring on your team, you can achieve amazing things. You can gain TIME. You can gain better health. You can gain a stronger marriage. You can earn more money.

    If you are a parent and choose to delegate to your children, you may gain some extra headaches in the short term while you teach and train them to take over tasks. But, in the long run, you will gain the knowledge and pride that comes from knowing that you are raising your child to be a self sufficient and responsible human. This is a slow process that starts with toddlers helping clean the playroom, sort socks and set the dinner table.

    My advice: Delegate early and often. The GAINS are worth it!

    If you liked today’s post, you’re welcome to use it in your own ezine or blog as long as you include the following blurb: Certified Professional Organizer, Tara Donohue Rudo, CPO, helps families, solopreneurs and mompreneurs focus on what is important. Get her FREE weekly tips and advice at www.NoMorePiles.com . Photo is courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net

  • Procrastination is a Useful Tool

    As I was sitting in my office practicing the fine art of procrastination, I began thinking about why people (me included) procrastinate. I came up with two basic reasons:

    1. It is something that you just don’t like to do (or there is something you would rather be doing)

    2. It is something someone else told you to do

    I can DEFINITELY think of examples of these from my life! In fact, I have left this blog post several times to send emails and make myself a cup of hot chocolate. What I began realizing during this thinking session is that procrastination can actually be a really useful tool, if examined. Sounds crazy, but stay with me for a minute. First, make a list (or just look at your current to do list) of all the things you procrastinate about. Next, break them into two categories: things you don’t like to do OR things someone else told you to do.

    Now, let’s look at the second list first. If it is something that someone else told you to do then it probably means that a boss or co-worker (or husband/wife/partner) is involved. This could mean it is a really important item and it really needs to get done, but you have been putting it off because you don’t like being told what to do. Well, that is just your ego talking, so let’s move it to the first list. If it is not really important or someone was just dumping their unwanted stuff on your plate, then you need to decide if you want to fight this battle or not. Maybe you have been a doormat and allowed them to dump tasks on you for awhile and you need to stand up for yourself and have a sit down with them to work it out. Or maybe, it is something small and not worth the fight which means you need to move it to the first list. This list should now be empty because everything was either given back to the giver to deal with or moved to the first list.

    The fist list is now full of things that we just don’t like to do or just seem to always find something more interesting to do. We are now down to a problem of motivation, not living by your priorities or time management. There will always be things that we don’t want to do but since they are important to us so we need to find a way to motivate ourselves to get them done. I like to set a timer and say to myself that I will sit down for 30 minutes and work on X. After my 30 minutes, I can leave it alone until tomorrow and that makes the task less painful. I also use my favorite shows as rewards for completing dreadful tasks. If I finish X, then I get to watch Survivor or Top Chef.

    Some items on this list may be there because you said ‘yes’ to something that you really shouldn’t have. You weren’t living by your priorities and being real with yourself about the time you could devote to another task or activity. My advice is to ‘suck it up’, finish the task and put it down as a lesson learned. If you are a ‘yes’ person by nature, I HIGHLY recommend that you never say yes on the spot. Create a patent line that you use when asked to commit to something like, “I don’t have my calendar with me, so let me check my availability when I get home and get back to you”. If you are at work and your calendar is right in front of you try, “I have several projects working right now, but let me take a look at things and see if I can fit it in. I will get back to you later today”. This will give you time to really think about whether you WANT to put this on your to do list.

    These last few items on your procrastination list may still be sitting there due to poor time management. My excuse for leaving this blog post several times before its completion was that I “needed” to send a quick email (that turned into 4 emails). I was “really” thirsty and wanted something to drink. That it would only take a second to answer the phone, check my facebook, see if I got any new emails, etc. If I had just sat down and only opened my blog and written this post in one sitting, it would have been done in 15 minutes (or so, with editing). Instead, it took me an hour and 15 minutes. I know I am probably not the only person around that has suffered from this time management affliction, but if I had just done it, then I would have already moved on to a more enjoyable task and I would have stopped moaning and groaning over an hour ago.

    So, the moral of the story is that you can learn a lot about what you enjoy doing and what you are really passionate about from looking at your procrastination patterns. Next time you are saying ‘yes’ or signing up for something, take a good hard look about where they are going to end up on your list. Are they going to be at the top of your to do list? Or are they going to be at the bottom of your to do list for the next 3 months?

    If you liked today’s article, you’re welcome to use it in your own ezine or blog as long as you include the following blurb: Certified Professional Organizer, Tara Donohue Rudo, CPO, helps families, solopreneurs and mompreneurs focus on what is important. Get her FREE weekly tips and advice at www.NoMorePiles.com . Photo is courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net

  • Microsoft Outlook Saved My Marriage

    Any of you out there in a relationship or married have probably had the following conversation.

    Person 1 – “I have a long work day today and I won’t be home until late because I have a meeting with the bossman at 5:30 p.m.”
    Person 2 – “What do you mean you won’t be home until late? Johnny has his school play (or insert other event) tonight and we were going to that and then out for pizza with the Johnsons.”

    Person 1 – “Johnny’s play is tonight? You never told me that! It’s not on my calendar. I can’t cancel my meeting with my boss!

    Person 2 – “Don’t you remember we talked about it last week?”

    Fight continues and yelling begins…if it hasn’t already.

    After spending several months having these ‘discussions’ with my husband, I was sick of it! I began searching for solutions. I was already using Microsoft Outlook for my email and contact management and discovered that for each calendar event I could ‘invite attendees’. This meant that the calendar event was emailed to hubby and he could either accept, tentative or decline the event and I would receive a response back. Easy, peasy.

    If he accepted, it was automatically put on his Outlook calendar. If declined, he could put a response in the email back to me so we could discuss the scheduling problem. The other great feature here is that if one of us changes the times on an event or deletes it off our calendar, it requires that you send an update to the other ‘attendees’. This has been a MARRIAGE-SAVER!! No more fights about scheduling. No excuses for not know what is going on and when. I LOVE IT!

    If you don’t use Outlook, but want to have similar features, check out Google Calendar. You can set up multiple calendars, so you can have one for your personal stuff and set up one for ‘Family’ events or set up one for each of the kids schedules and they can be shared with others. You can also set up the notifications so it would have similar features to what I mentioned above in Outlook.

    If you are not a computer person, you can use the pen and paper method. Just make sure that a family calendar is posted in a high-traffic area of the house like the kitchen where it will be easily seen. That it is big enough to easily see events.

    No matter which type of system you use there are a few things you will need to do for it to be successful.

    1. Always put events on your calendar! The system only works if you are diligent about entering events on it.
    2. Every week you need to have a quick family meeting to make sure that everyone has their events on the calendar and knows where they need to be when.
    3. Don’t overbook your calendar! This is the most important rule. If you jam pack every minute of your week, you will feel stressed, rushed and things will fall apart.

    Calendars are one system that EVERY family needs to run smoothly. They also give every family member accountability and help you avoid the stress of conversations like the one at the top of the page.

    If you liked today’s article, you’re welcome to use it in your own ezine or blog as long as you include the following blurb: Certified Professional Organizer, Tara Donohue Rudo, CPO, helps families, solopreneurs and mompreneurs focus on what is important. Get her FREE weekly tips and advice at www.NoMorePiles.com .

  • The Mom Spiral

    You woke up this morning after 8 hours of undisturbed sleep with the sun shining and the birds chirping. You take a hot shower and get dressed for work. You skip into the kitchen and pour yourself a cup of coffee (or tea, in my case) and make breakfast. Just as you finish your cup of tea, the kids come down for breakfast already dressed and ready for school. Your morning goes off without a hitch and you even get to work 10 minutes early!

    Then, at 10 a.m., you get the call. Johnny is projectile vomiting and you need to come pick him up from school. You grab your bag and rush to your car. Your shoe gets caught in the sidewalk and you break the heel off your shoe. You run over a nail in the parking lot and get a flat tire. AAA fixes your tire and you make it to school to pick up Johnny (albeit an hour later). On the way home, Johnny throws up all over the back seat. Your day has spiraled down into the dark abyss of motherhood that you can never prepare for… you have entered The Mom Spiral.

    OK, so there is nothing you can do to stop days like this from happening, but you can do a few things to minimize the pain (emotional, physical, work loss) that these days can cause.

    • Make sure you have an emergency back up plan. What if you are at a client site on a day like this and you are 2 hours away from your child’s school? Make sure the school and you have a list of people that you could call (with all their contact #s) at your fingertips to pinch hit for you.
    • If you work from home or from your car, create an “Office Day” folder or task list. This would be all the phone calls you need to return, the memos or emails that need writing, reports that need reviewing, professional reading or all the things that you could do easily while sitting home with a sick kid all day.
    • If you work in an office, find a way to have remote access to your computer or if you work on a laptop, bring it home. Create a “Grab and Go” folder of all those same types of things listed above. Don’t wait until a day like this happens to create this folder!
      Create a cold/flu season kit. Keep it stocked with all the things you would use while sick: pain reliever, throat lozenges, thermometer, nose squeege, super soft kleenex, pedialite or gatoraide, etc.
    • Create a kids sick day kit. A couple of new DVDs, coloring books, crayons, sticker books, books or other things your child can do easily unsupervised or with little supervision so you can still get a few hours of work in.
    • Keep some easy-to-eat-while-sick foods. When your kids don’t feel well chances are they won’t want to eat the leftover Italian sausage hoagies from last night’s dinner. They want apple sauce, grilled cheese sandwiches, chicken noodle soup or just some plain noodles.

    We know that these days will still happen, but by following these few simple steps you can set yourself and your child up for sick days that are a little less painful and at least slightly productive for you. And, don’t worry, this too shall pass! There is always a chance for a perfect day tomorrow!!

    If you liked today’s article, you’re welcome to use it in your own ezine or blog as long as you include the following blurb: Certified Professional Organizer, Tara Donohue Rudo, CPO, helps families, individuals and mompreneurs focus on what is important. Get her FREE weekly tips and advice at www.NoMorePiles.com.

  • Basement Overhaul

    I took the summer off from blogging so that I could spend a little extra time with the kids, but now that school is back in session it is time to get back to work. I want to show you some great before and after pictures of the basement overhaul we completed this week. This client was a busy family with their third child on the way. Some family and friends had asked them to store items for them in the basement which started the clutter. Then they had grandma and grandpa move in with them and there were now more items to store. Then, life just got busy and anything that they couldn’t make a decision on went to the basement. Any time there was company coming over and there were piles anywhere, they went to the basement. Out of sight, out of mind…..except with #3 on the way they realized that the basement had gotten out of control and they wanted all their ducks in a row before #3 shows up. We put up some great shelving to get the bins and boxes off the floor for easy access, cleaning and in case of water seepage since it is an unfinished basement. We used lots of clear bins (labeled, of course) but clear helps you see what you need and allows you to access things more easily. This was a great project with wonderful, motivated clients and even grandpa did his part in sorting his items and sending some off for donation!

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