Who would have thought that being organized could improve your sex life? The truth is that when you work, manage a house, and have kids, “extra” time is not something that comes easily. But with some thoughtful planning, you can (and should) definitely make more time for yourself and your spouse.
Check out what you can in order to improve your sex life:
1. Clear the clutter. Your bedroom should be a refuge from the real world, where you go to relax at the end of the day. When you walk into your bedroom, you should feel a sense of peace and calmness. If your bedroom doesn’t convey that feeling, it’s time to make some changes.
2. Remove the kid stuff—and the kids—from your bedroom. There will always be those nights when someone has a bad dream and needs a little comfort from mom and dad. But your bedroom should not be a playroom. If you have to keep a few toys in the room, find a way to hide and contain them in a nice bin or basket with a lid.
3. Have a chore list for the entire family and commit to it. When you establish your family as a team working together, you eliminate the stress of daily chores.
Sit down with the whole family and make a list of all the week’s chores. Have everyone volunteer for the ones that they would like, then move on to negotiating which person will do the remaining chores. Assigning chores places the responsibility with you again. Instead, work as a team to distribute all the tasks, so each member of the family feels ownership.
Establish a deadline for the weekly chores and a person responsible for checking to make sure that another has completed the work. That includes someone making sure that Dad took out the trash or that Mom has made her bed.
Set rewards for work well done. The rewards might be money, special outings, or family game nights. Pick a reward that makes sense for your family.
4. Schedule time for sex. If you and your family are scheduled to death and all you do is come home at the end of the day and crash, then chances are that you won’t have or make time to have sex. If you would like more time for sex or at least for the possibility of it, then put it on the calendar.
5. Take time for pampering. Some days early on in motherhood, showering may be the only answer to “What did you do today?” Make time for self-care, whether that’s showering, putting on something other than yoga pants, getting a haircut, or whatever else makes you feel good about yourself.
6. Exercise. As Elle Woods said in Legally Blonde, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t kill their husbands.” Exercise improves your health, your strength and endurance, and your mood. You may not have time for workouts every day, but do what you can. Something is always better than nothing.
7. Goody Drawer. Many different things can be part of your goody drawer. Sex accessories are the obvious, but for many that is not the answer. For some, mental mood is more important than physical mood, so love notes or pictures of favorite memories of the two of you together can help rekindle the spark. A healthy sex life is about more than just sex.
8. Turn off the business talk. It’s important to know when to stop talking about business. Make sure you have enough time to talk about other things and just chat with your spouse. Business conversations will have the opposite effect on you and probably just make you think more about finances, or your to do list. You and your partner won’t relax.
9. Idiot proof your family calendar. Having one calendar that everyone can access transfers responsibility to the individual to take care of his or her own to-do list. When everyone knows what they have to do and when and how to get there, fewer miscommunications happen. A missed appointment or practice can lead to arguments and resentment. Setting up the game plan for the day ensures that at the end of it, even if you’ve all been running around separately, you worked as a team to accomplish your family goals. Everyone is happier and less-stressed.
10. Have a date night. Take some time to do something different with your spouse: go out for dinner, go to the movies, theater, whatever makes you both get dressed and ready to spend some quality time outside the house.
Always make time for yourself and your spouse. Sex life is important in a marriage, making partners happier, boosting their intimacy, and building confidence and trust between them.
If you liked today’s post, you’re welcome to use it in your own newsletter or blog as long as you include the following blurb: Tara Rudo, Life Strategist, helps executives, entrepreneurs and busy families focus on what’s important. Get our FREE weekly tips and advice at www.NoMorePiles.com.