Category: Relationships

  • 10 Ways to Improve Your Sex Life

    Who would have thought that being organized could improve your sex life? The truth is that when you work, manage a house, and have kids, “extra” time is not something that comes easily. But with some thoughtful planning, you can (and should) definitely make more time for yourself and your spouse.

    improve your sex life

    Check out what you can in order to improve your sex life:

    1. Clear the clutter. Your bedroom should be a refuge from the real world, where you go to relax at the end of the day. When you walk into your bedroom, you should feel a sense of peace and calmness. If your bedroom doesn’t convey that feeling, it’s time to make some changes.

     

    2. Remove the kid stuff—and the kids—from your bedroom. There will always be those nights when someone has a bad dream and needs a little comfort from mom and dad. But your bedroom should not be a playroom. If you have to keep a few toys in the room, find a way to hide and contain them in a nice bin or basket with a lid.

     

    3. Have a chore list for the entire family and commit to it. When you establish your family as a team working together, you eliminate the stress of daily chores.

    Sit down with the whole family and make a list of all the week’s chores. Have everyone volunteer for the ones that they would like, then move on to negotiating which person will do the remaining chores. Assigning chores places the responsibility with you again. Instead, work as a team to distribute all the tasks, so each member of the family feels ownership.

    Establish a deadline for the weekly chores and a person responsible for checking to make sure that another has completed the work. That includes someone making sure that Dad took out the trash or that Mom has made her bed.

    Set rewards for work well done. The rewards might be money, special outings, or family game nights. Pick a reward that makes sense for your family.

     

    4. Schedule time for sex. If you and your family are scheduled to death and all you do is come home at the end of the day and crash, then chances are that you won’t have or make time to have sex. If you would like more time for sex or at least for the possibility of it, then put it on the calendar.

     

    5. Take time for pampering. Some days early on in motherhood, showering may be the only answer to “What did you do today?” Make time for self-care, whether that’s showering, putting on something other than yoga pants, getting a haircut, or whatever else makes you feel good about yourself.

     

    6. Exercise. As Elle Woods said in Legally Blonde, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t kill their husbands.” Exercise improves your health, your strength and endurance, and your mood. You may not have time for workouts every day, but do what you can. Something is always better than nothing.

     

    7. Goody Drawer. Many different things can be part of your goody drawer. Sex accessories are the obvious, but for many that is not the answer. For some, mental mood is more important than physical mood, so love notes or pictures of favorite memories of the two of you together can help rekindle the spark. A healthy sex life is about more than just sex.

     

    8. Turn off the business talk. It’s important to know when to stop talking about business. Make sure you have enough time to talk about other things and just chat with your spouse. Business conversations will have the opposite effect on you and probably just make you think more about finances, or your to do list. You and your partner won’t relax.

     

    9. Idiot proof your family calendar. Having one calendar that everyone can access transfers responsibility to the individual to take care of his or her own to-do list. When everyone knows what they have to do and when and how to get there, fewer miscommunications happen. A missed appointment or practice can lead to arguments and resentment. Setting up the game plan for the day ensures that at the end of it, even if you’ve all been running around separately, you worked as a team to accomplish your family goals. Everyone is happier and less-stressed.

     

    10. Have a date night. Take some time to do something different with your spouse: go out for dinner, go to the movies, theater, whatever makes you both get dressed and ready to spend some quality time outside the house.

    Always make time for yourself and your spouse. Sex life is important in a marriage, making partners happier, boosting their intimacy, and building confidence and trust between them.

    If you liked today’s post, you’re welcome to use it in your own newsletter or blog as long as you include the following blurb: Tara Rudo, Life Strategist, helps executives, entrepreneurs and busy families focus on what’s important. Get our FREE weekly tips and advice at www.NoMorePiles.com.

  • The 24 Hour Rule

    I was working with someone last week to schedule a meeting with 7 other people. We had sent out an email with all the details and gave a deadline 5 days out to respond to various action items.  On the day of the deadline, we had still not heard from half the group.  I had to send a second email reminding the group about the deadline and promptly got everyone’s responses. Why did they wait so long to respond?  If they could respond so quickly to the second email, why couldn’t they have responded just as quickly to the first?

    I am guilty of this too.  A friend called me on a Friday and when she hadn’t heard from me by Sunday, emailed to make sure that I was OK.  I am sure that you are either guilty of this offense or have been on the receiving end of the ‘no response’.

    In this day of instant messaging and access to email and text messages from our phones which we carry with us everywhere, why is it that so many people don’t respond, don’t call back and don’t RSVP. Are we too busy? Are we just rude?  OR, are we not placing high enough priority on prompt responsiveness and our personal relationships.

    If we waited several days to call our mothers back, we would probably find the cops or fire department banging down our front door.  Whether personal or for business, I think we should adopt the 24 hour rule.  If you are soooo busy that you can’t find the time to call someone, then shoot them an email and arrange a time for the call.  If you have an email that requires lots of time and thought, at least send an email back telling the sender that you need a little time and will respond by____ (fill in the blank). Responding promptly will let the people in your life know that you appreciate and respect them and their time.

    If you liked today’s post, you’re welcome to use it in your own ezine or blog as long as you include the following blurb: Certified Professional Organizer, Tara Donohue Rudo, CPO, helps families, solopreneurs and mompreneurs focus on what is important. Get her FREE weekly tips and advice at www.NoMorePiles.com.

     

     

  • Microsoft Outlook Saved My Marriage

    Any of you out there in a relationship or married have probably had the following conversation.

    Person 1 – “I have a long work day today and I won’t be home until late because I have a meeting with the bossman at 5:30 p.m.”
    Person 2 – “What do you mean you won’t be home until late? Johnny has his school play (or insert other event) tonight and we were going to that and then out for pizza with the Johnsons.”

    Person 1 – “Johnny’s play is tonight? You never told me that! It’s not on my calendar. I can’t cancel my meeting with my boss!

    Person 2 – “Don’t you remember we talked about it last week?”

    Fight continues and yelling begins…if it hasn’t already.

    After spending several months having these ‘discussions’ with my husband, I was sick of it! I began searching for solutions. I was already using Microsoft Outlook for my email and contact management and discovered that for each calendar event I could ‘invite attendees’. This meant that the calendar event was emailed to hubby and he could either accept, tentative or decline the event and I would receive a response back. Easy, peasy.

    If he accepted, it was automatically put on his Outlook calendar. If declined, he could put a response in the email back to me so we could discuss the scheduling problem. The other great feature here is that if one of us changes the times on an event or deletes it off our calendar, it requires that you send an update to the other ‘attendees’. This has been a MARRIAGE-SAVER!! No more fights about scheduling. No excuses for not know what is going on and when. I LOVE IT!

    If you don’t use Outlook, but want to have similar features, check out Google Calendar. You can set up multiple calendars, so you can have one for your personal stuff and set up one for ‘Family’ events or set up one for each of the kids schedules and they can be shared with others. You can also set up the notifications so it would have similar features to what I mentioned above in Outlook.

    If you are not a computer person, you can use the pen and paper method. Just make sure that a family calendar is posted in a high-traffic area of the house like the kitchen where it will be easily seen. That it is big enough to easily see events.

    No matter which type of system you use there are a few things you will need to do for it to be successful.

    1. Always put events on your calendar! The system only works if you are diligent about entering events on it.
    2. Every week you need to have a quick family meeting to make sure that everyone has their events on the calendar and knows where they need to be when.
    3. Don’t overbook your calendar! This is the most important rule. If you jam pack every minute of your week, you will feel stressed, rushed and things will fall apart.

    Calendars are one system that EVERY family needs to run smoothly. They also give every family member accountability and help you avoid the stress of conversations like the one at the top of the page.

    If you liked today’s article, you’re welcome to use it in your own ezine or blog as long as you include the following blurb: Certified Professional Organizer, Tara Donohue Rudo, CPO, helps families, solopreneurs and mompreneurs focus on what is important. Get her FREE weekly tips and advice at www.NoMorePiles.com .